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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671862">Comfort</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ja_Levi/pseuds/Ja_Levi'>Ja_Levi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gorillaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:35:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ja_Levi/pseuds/Ja_Levi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In Murdoc's chaos, 2-D is his solace.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TW: Panic Attack, Crying, Swearing, Self Harm.</p><p>Crash. It's a very distant sound. However it still sends Murdoc spiralling to the floor, landing on his knees. The man places his shaking hands on the floor, grimacing when he feels something cut into his skin, causing his fingers to bleed. It takes a moment before he realises that he dropped a beer bottle. Brown and red mix with glass and green skin, making him wince.</p><p>Thump thump. Murdoc can hear his heart pounding against his chest. The bassist moves a hand up to his face, watching as blood trickles down his fingers to his wrist. "I deserve this," he whispers to himself, sitting on his heels. He slowly grabs one of the large pieces of glass and he gulps.</p><p>Murdoc begins to press the sharp glass against his palm, biting the inside of his cheek as he starts to cut his hand. Blood begins to spill down his palm to his wrist. "I deserve worse than this," he snarls at himself, barely noticing how he's now crying.</p><p>He soon can't focus on the glass and it slips back to the floor. A broken sob leaves his throat and he curls up on himself, placing his bleeding hand on the back of his head, his blood now getting into his hair.</p><p>The Satanist hits his head with his non wounded hand, soon yelling at himself as his vision grows darker, shadows filling his head. Darkness fills the room and he can't think, he can't see, so he starts screaming and crying harder.</p><p>"Help, help! Stop it, I don't want this, I don't deserve this! Someone, please help me!" His chest begins to heave and he feels bile rise in his mouth. Thud thud. Footsteps start to fill his ears and he trembles, raising his head up as if to try and look at where the sound is coming from but his vision is still blurry and black.</p><p>All that Murdoc hears is a gasp and hurried shuffles. "Mud, what in the hell happened? Fuck, okay, let me get you to the couch." The bass player lets the other person who he can't identify help him to his feet. He feels himself on the couch before he blacks out, clearly worn out from his panic attack.</p><p>When he awakes Murdoc has a harsh headache and he grunts as he tries to sit up but he feels someone push him back down. He blinks his eyes before he focuses on the worried face above him. "Dee, you look frightened to death," he comments, offering 2-D a weak smile. 2-D frowns and sighs quietly before he strokes Murdoc's hair, which is somehow now clean.</p><p>"Murdoc, we need to get you to a therapist," the younger man says softly, still stroking Murdoc's hair. "I don't need a shrink. I'm fine," Murdoc states stubbornly before he notices tear tracks on 2-D's face. "Dee, why have you been crying?" The lead singer of his band just shrugs nonchalantly. "It doesn't matter. Considering you don't even care."</p><p>These words make Murdoc frown and he slowly moves a upwards hand to cup 2-D's cheek. "I do care. Tell me why you were crying." 2-D lets himself lean into Murdoc's touch before he sighs slightly.</p><p>"Because I keep thinking about how close I am to losing you. You won't let yourself get better and I'm so scared that one day you'll just drive the glass in too deep. Yet you keep denying yourself help. Do you even understand how much that hurts? I want to help you and I want you to be happy, but you're not helping yourself..."</p><p>Murdoc tears up slightly and he pulls 2-D's face closer with weak force, touching their foreheads together. "Dee, I'm sorry for making you worry like that. I'm struggling, I suppose. Well, that's an understatement," he chuckles humourlessly. 2-D musters a shaky smile at the comment. "But...I'll try better. I'm sorry, Dee, I really am. It's just that sometimes my brain gets dark and I can't stop it. If it brings you comfort then I'll...I'll see somebody about it."</p><p>2-D smiles a little more genuinely and he nods his head, a few of his own tears slipping down his cheeks. "Please do. I want you to be happy and okay. I don't want you to leave me. We've been through too much, all of us. I'll come with you if you need some support."</p><p>Murdoc silently admires how 2-D can be so beautiful and strong while crying. His heart wrenches inside of him and he swallows a lump that was in his throat. "Thank you, Dee. That means a lot. We'll help me together. Yeah?"</p><p>2-D nods and he laughs slightly in relief that Murdoc is now going to start taking care of himself. "Yeah. Also, I don't know if you've noticed yet but I've washed your hair. That's all. I didn't want you to get upset by the visuals of blood in your scalp." Murdoc thanks him gently. "You're welcome, Mud. Anything for you."</p>
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